Crossing Paths #1 - End of a Nightmare
by Selina
Summary: Alyssa lost everything to the yeerks, can she gain the animorphs' trust?


**__**

Before you read this, you must be made aware of the following: a)Any words used in the wrong context is a genuine lack of vocabulary and I'd appreciate it if whoever reads this warned me. b)I have never read an Animorphs book so a lot will be different (I think). c)If you hate the fics where Rachel and Tobias aren't living happily ever after, don't read this! I will not be responsible for any long lasting anger caused by you reading my fic. d)I do not own any of the animorphs, and I do not claim responsibility for the hatred the readers may feel towards the only characters that are genuinely mine in the story, Alyssa, Sarah, Kirsten or D.J. It kindda helps to say that some of them start the story already dead.... 

**__**

These were the reactions I got from my guinea pigs when I showed them my fic:

Gweneth - (pats Selina on the back) "Were you depressed when you wrote this?"

Killer25A - (laughs so hard he almost falls on floor, then is thrown into a wall by Selina) "The only difference between this and a Mexican soap-opera is that the characters speak in English"

Erin - (looks at paper thoughtfully) "It's very good, especially this part, but what do you expect, I helped with it"

Note: I'm assuming the animorphs take around 30s to morph 

****

Crossing Paths #1 

End of a Nightmare

***

Alyssa

That evening, like so many others, _I_ walked into the building, but it wasn't me walking. _I_ spoke the password, but it wasn't me speaking. I saw the scene playing itself out in my mind once more: The controllers coming in, my father running, my mother screaming, and Sarah... her skin... Stop! I interrupted the memory. It could trigger other memories, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want IT to see them. I had worked so hard to keep those "special" memories of Sarah hidden deep down in the corner of my mind. IT hadn't found them yet, but IT was getting closer, and when IT did find them... I shuddered, but _I_ didn't. My thoughts were interrupted by _my_ actions. _I_ kneeled down facing the pool and turned my head, soon the yeerk came out of my ear. I was I again, even if only for a little while. I fought the two controllers that were holding me, taking me to the cell, but it was useless and I knew it. I had been trough this for only one month and yet I knew that there was nothing I could do. My hope was almost gone. Almost, I still had a little bit of it inside me and it was that small piece that still forced me to shout: 

"You can't win yeerks! You won't win!" The controllers laughed as they threw me into the cell and left me there. I was finally alone. There was no one invading my memories, hearing my every thought, and controlling my every move. But freedom was limited, the yeerk would soon be back and I'd be trapped again. Trapped inside my own mind. I let myself slide down to the floor as a tear rolled down my face. Suddenly, I heard a small sort off fluttering sound, the one a bug usually makes. I looked around in anticipation. That's when I saw it. All my hopes landed in the form of one of the most disgusting creatures on Earth (not including yeerks) a cockroach. I didn't even bother getting up, I crawled up to the roach, which was lying helplessly on its back, desperately flapping its wings. I picked it up and held it in my hands. (Author's note: ew... gross!) Could I still do it? It felt like forever since the last time that I had even tried, since the last time I had even let myself remember. But now, for a little while, I was alone, there was no one in my head but me, so I let it all drift back. All the memories I had tried to hide from them. They all came back to haunt me. I remembered the last night I had seen Sarah, the last night I had been myself.

We were all there, having dinner, talking, laughing. We were so happy... Suddenly the door burst open and the room filled with controllers. Mom screamed, she had no idea what was going on, she didn't know. I saw dad trying to protect us, the knife in his hands... And with the corner of my eye I saw Sarah, her skin darkening and becoming fur, while her hands became paws. Once finished, the panther jumped on the controllers, wounding some, killing many, as they kept on coming. She was shot many times, but didn't stop. We didn't normally kill controllers, but this was different. I could see it in Sarah's actions as she got weaker and weaker, but kept on fighting. This was a fight for our lives. I could hear Sarah's cries Noo! Not my family!! Alyssa, help!!! I tried to help her, but no matter how hard I concentrated, I couldn't, she was all alone. That's when I saw him; the andalite. His tail blade cutting my father's throat, as my mother fell to the ground uncontious. I was running towards her when some kind of beam hit me. Falling towards the ground, the last thing I remember seeing was a tail blade going straight for a black panther...

The memory ended, that was the last time I had seen any of them. I let the tears flow for a moment than I looked down at the roach in my hands. I put it back down on the floor; it remained still for a moment. I closed my eyes and concentrated, the transition was as smooth as I remembered it to be. I felt my neck disappear, wings came out of my back, I shrank. It worked! I had finally let out the secret I hid so well from the yeerks. I had finally morphed again. I couldn't believe it, but it was real, and I'd finally be free. 

I followed my newfound friend through the cell bars. We passed some controllers, almost being stepped on, but otherwise unnoticed. That's when I remembered why I hated morphing into small animals. On the other hand, I also hated having a slug inside my brain, so compared to that, almost being stepped on was a breeze. Then the controllers started running all around and I could swear I "heard" an alarm go off. By now, we had already reached the entrance and I was able to see how my little friend had made it through the bio filters. There was an almost unnoticeable flawbetween the structure and the wall in the lower end of one of the sides. When we got outside, we each went our separate ways. I wasn't planning on morphing back to my human form, (Okay, so I really had no plan at all), but I thought I would remain a roach until I was as far away as possible. Things weren't looking up. It was raining pretty hard and the water slowed me down a lot. As soon as I got on the other side of the street, I returned to my original form behind (or should I say, inside) a bush. The place was normally deserted, but this was ridiculous. Because of the rain, there was not a human, nor animal in sight for me to acquire. I didn't know what to do or where to go, I just knew I had to get away. So I ran into the woods as fast as I could, my wet clothes trying to slow me down. As I was running I heard them: "There she goes! After her!" "How did she get out?" I ran faster, despair kept me moving, it didn't let me fall, no matter how much water and darkness surrounded me. I didn't care how much longer I needed to run, as long as I could be free; I'd gladly do it forever. I kept hearing the voices, and seeing the shots, but they kept getting farther away. I had been running for about twenty minutes, although it seemed longer, when I made out the figure of a small shack in the distance. My heart raced and that feeling I knew so well came back, the feeling of hope. Inspite of the pain in my legs, the tears in my eyes and the controllers still following me, I actually smiled.

***

Tobias 

I felt the rain falling hard on my feathers; it was the third night in a row. I flew towards the abandoned shack I'd been using as shelter for the past months. It was coming in handy with all these storms lately. And more than I'd like to admit it, it was starting to feel like a home other than the woods. I guess I've gotta keep reminding myself that I'm still human and that I can't give that up, because that's who I am. The problem is that the hawk and the morphing ability are also part of me and if I gave that up, I would be nothing more than a burden to my friends. It's hard; it's not a decision I'm willing to make just now. And no matter what, I can never have a normal life, not only because of who I am, but also because of what I've seen and all I know. Being around my friends sometimes only makes it worse. Seeing them only makes the pain deeper, but they don't know that, I wouldn't dare tell them. It would do me no good and it would only make them feel guilty. I didn't want them to suffer, not because of me.

When I got to the shack I entered through a hole in the ceiling. We keep the door closed and the hole's fine by me (the reason is obvious). Once inside, I rested on a shelf and shook the water from my feathers. The inside of the shack was very simple; a few boxes up against the wall under the hole, the shelf to the right, and to the left, an improvised fence we had built to hold a sick horse until we could take it to Cassie's barn, which they were late for, they probably weren't coming, not with this rain... There was a pile of hay on the left side of the door, opposite to the boxes. Suddenly, I heard a noise on the roof; I knew who it was. 'Not again...', I thought to myself. Every night when it rained, this stray cat would come in through the hole in the roof and every morning, I'd have to let it out through the door. What a cat was doing in the middle of the woods, no one knows, but ever since Cassie brought it some food, it keeps coming back. I didn't like the way it looked at me, like I was a giant dinner, but it knew it would loose in an actual fight, so it just enjoyed the shelter. I'm telling you, this was beginning to look like an all-night-open motel.

I let my thoughts drift a while longer until I was on the verge of sleep. That's when the door suddenly opened and a girl stumbled in, dripping wet, obviously tired and scared half to death. She closed the door behind her in a hurry and looked around with what little moonlight came from behind the clouds and through the hole. She seemed to be looking for a place to hide, there was none. With my hawk hearing, I was able to make out some voices in the midst of the rain. They were coming this way, and soon after, the girl heard them too. I knew she had heard them because her panic increased and I could almost hear her cry. I didn't know what was going on. What could I do? I couldn't intervene, not in the form I was in, and I couldn't risk anyone seeing me, so I just watched. The men outside were close now, they were almost right outside the door. The girl closed her eyes for a moment and remained still. She opened her eyes and seemed actually disappointed that nothing happened, even more than disappointed, terrified.

***

Alyssa

'NO!!! This can't be happening!! Not now!!'. I just wanted to scream as loud and as hard as I could and cry all the tears I had to cry. But something inside me kept me from doing that. I had made it this far, I wasn't about to give up. The rain was stopping so I was able to hear the voices outside. 

"The rain stopped, she'll be able to go farther now. We have to speed up." 

"Let's try over here, she couldn't have gotten very far."

I looked around the moonlit shack one more time, but now I was more determined, my mind was clearer. I was no longer a scared kid, I was a survivor. I jumped over some sort of fence and touched a sleeping horse, it didn't mind much. And if it did, who cares! I acquired it, and as the shack door opened there was no longer any human in sight. The two controllers came in and looked around with some sort of flashlights. 

"I was sure she'd be in here." He walked towards me. I swear it took all of my self-control to resist the earge to knock him down and run away. The horse moved around, my heart pounding fast, but I kept still. I wouldn't let them take me.

"How did she manage to escape the cell, anyway?

"I don't know. Maybe it was a glitch in the programs or maybe the work of those andalite scum. Somehow she managed to get outside." 

"Visser 3 will have our heads for this."

"Who's going to be the one to tell him? Well, she's not here, let's go."

They left, I was so relieved. But also confused. Where would I go? Who could I trust? At least my secret was safe, for now...

***

Tobias

She morphed! I couldn't believe it. I was still in a semi state of shock when I heard the name Visser 3 being said by one of her pursuers. Who was she? Anyway, I naturally assumed that the two men looking for her were controllers. They obviously didn't know she could morph otherwise they would have shot every animal in sight. I kept calm and tried to stay focused on what was happening, but it was hard. All these questions just kept dancing around in my brain. What had she been doing in a cell? Why were they chasing her? And the one question that stabbed me hard and deep: How come she could morph?

I sortta got all wrapped around in those thoughts and didn't realize that the controllers had given up and left. The horse was still there, just standing still. Maybe she was just being careful, or maybe she just didn't know what to do. For what seemed to me like forever, she just stayed there. The silence was beginning to drive me nuts, I ruffled my feathers just to hear a sound other than the background noise coming from the woods. The horse suddenly became a young girl again. With the light of the full moon coming through the hole, I was able to see what she looked like. She couldn't be more than 14 years old, long brown hair, just a little short. I couldn't see her eyes or her face, she had her back to me at the moment. She slowly looked around and started to walk towards the closed door. She stopped all of a sudden. I guess she thought the controllers could still be outside looking for her. She then realized the hole in the ceiling and took notice of my presence. How convenient, right? A discreet exit and the means to use it. She slowly started coming towards me, trying not to make any sudden moves. She knew what she was doing, but so did I. She tried to touch me several times, each time I dodged her hand and threatened her with my beak. I was not exactly thrilled about the idea of letting her acquire me, especially since I wanted to keep her here as long as possible to try and find the answers to my questions. She finally realized I wasn't going to let her touch me, so she turned to the cat. The lazy feline didn't care if she wanted to touch it or not. Great! So much for keeping her here. She had just acquired the cat when we started hearing voices coming from the outside. She must have thought that they were the controllers coming back, because she jumped over the "fence" and morphed horse again. The shack door opened and four figures came in.

***

Rachel

We had met up at Cassie's barn and started to make our way to the shack to get the horse when it started to rain. We hid in some sort of small cave until the sky cleared and off we went again. Of course, by that time, it was already dark, but why waste the trip? And I was looking forward to seeing Tobias, we weren't exactly on the best of terms. We had had a fight (him being a nothlit and all... long story) and I think he was still upset with me. We all morphed wolves so we'd go faster, no since in walking around in the dark. As usual, Marco was complaining about one thing after another, I don't know what about though, since I stopped listening at the point where he opened his mouth. We demorphed right outside the shack and went in. I lit up an old oil lamp we kept near the door. Tobias looked weird, almost as if something was wrong. He seemed edgy or something like that. I walked over to him, trying to speak in a light mood

"Hi, Tobias. Is everything okay?"

"Hey, bird-boy. Sorry we're late, but the rain sortta caught us..."

Don't talk to me! We have a spy! 

With those words, Tobias shut Marco up faster than I had ever been able to. But what was he talking about? There was no one there. No one we could see, anyway. 

***

Tobias

They all looked at me, surprised, then at each other for a moment with a puzzled expression on their faces. Okay, maybe she wasn't a spy, but it was much faster than saying: Hey, guys, don't mention the yeerks because there's a girl running from the controllers hidden in here morphed as a horse over there (take a breath). And saying spy got pretty much the same effect. They tried to act naturally. Rachel started talking about school and stuff while Jake signaled almost imperceptibly for me to go on. I started explaining from the top.

A girl came in being chased by two controllers...

"Oh, Jake. Did Tom get that present I sent him?"

I knew Rachel had meant the question for me, so I answered.

No, she's still here I followed their gaze around the room, they were even more confused.

The horse... she morphed horse. She's the one on the left As I said that, they seemed to experience the same shock I did. They're act dropped for a while and they all just stood there, not saying anything, surprise and disbelief stamped across their faces.

***

Rachel

We just stared at each other in complete shock for some time until what he said started to sink in. I looked at the horses, maybe Tobias was playing a joke on us. No, he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't joke around with something this serious. Wait a minute! Since when did we have two horses in here? Where did the other horse come from? It couldn't be Ax, he said he was only coming later on. So Tobias wasn't joking. As soon as the shock disappeared, I focused my thoughts again. I faked a laugh and turned to Marco.

"Did you see that movie where the guy suspects that his girlfriend is an alien?"

Marco shook his head, while Tobias answered me:

No, she's not an andalite. She's human, I'm sure of it. We have to keep her here and talk with her. But we can't give ourselves away. Any plans, oh fearless leader? His voice sounded different, but it was probably just this weird situation. Jake sighed and slightly shook his head, it was almost unnoticeable. Suddenly, I felt like one of those cartoon lamps had just lit over my head. I had an idea, it might not work, but it was worth a shot. We could force her to make a move. We could make her panic. Make her think she would be stuck in morph. That would be enough. I walked over to the "fence" trying my best to smile.

"Great night for a ride, huh, Cas? The full moon, the wet trees... Maybe we could go..."

Cassie looked confused, but she joined in on the fake smile and played along, slowly realizing my plan.

"Yeah, right after the rain. We could head over to the clearing, I think it's an one hour ride."

Jake caught up pretty fast and was already holding a rope in his hands. He was on the right side of the door, Marco was on the left. I was in front of the boxes and Cassie was near the "fence". She was sure to send our uninvited guest over the edge with what she said next:

"Do you mind if we wait a couple of hours before going? I'm kind of tired from the walk."

Yeah, that seemed to do it, all right. The horse moved around uneasily, nervously. But it actually caught me by surprise when it jumped over the fence and raced towards the door. Jake roped it...her...it...whatever! The horse struggled against the rope furiously while Jake tried to tie the rope somewhere. We tried to hold it down. Big mistake! Never underestimate the strength of a horse. It managed to shove me to the side and kick Cassie up against the wall. She fell to the ground, rubbing the back of her head. The horse was still fighting and pulling at the rope, but by now, Jake had already managed to tie the rope to the shelf, and he and Marco were holding it as hard as they could. I heard Tobias telling us to be careful while I dodged the horse's hooves and tail, trying to get to Cassie, who was still lying on the floor. I couldn't get to her. I waited, the horse started to put up less of a fight, it was giving up, it was beaten...

***

Alyssa

I panicked! I couldn't possibly wait two hours! I let the animal take over and went for the door, but someone roped me. I stomped and kicked and pulled, it was useless, I couldn't free myself from the rope, I couldn't get away. The horse was beaten... but I wasn't. I still had one trick up my sleeve, the one advantage I had ever had over Sarah. I took control again, making the horse slow down, letting them think I was trapped. Then I concentrated on myself and on the cat I had just acquired. I had to be fast, they couldn't see my face. I knew I could still do it. My confidence had not shattered this past month, if anything it had gotten stronger, I had endured, and I had survived. The time was now, they had assumed I was caught. The horse stood on its hind legs, my hands removed the rope from my neck and my paws touched softly the ground. It didn't take more than 12 seconds for that to happen. It was the fastest I had ever morphed, but desperation will make you do things you never thought possible. Then the cat raced towards the top of the boxes. The others didn't even try to catch me, they looked like they were in shock. Exactly the reaction I expected. I jumped towards the hole in the roof, but it was too high. I fell on top of the boxes, but like all cats, I landed on my feet (or should I say, paws). The blonde girl tried to catch me, but I threatened her with my claws and hissed. I looked at the hawk perched on the shelf. It was my only hope, I had to acquire it. That was going to be tough, the girl was just waiting for me to get distracted, and the hawk had already let me know it didn't want to be touched. I waited for the right moment, when the boys were helping the other girl to her feet, she still looked dizzy. The blonde girl was still watching me, but she wouldn't be fast enough to stop me. She shifted her gaze for one second to look at her friends, one second was all I needed. The cat jumped towards the hawk, it was as surprised as the girl. It tried to fly, but I caught it with my human hands. I fell to the ground holding him. I almost didn't feel the impact, the feline had gotten its prey. My heart was pounding fast, the adrenaline was still high in my body. I whispered to myself in the excitement "Gotcha!".

The others started coming my way, but they hesitated, I don't know why. I didn't care why. I let go of the hawk and morphed. I went straight for the hole. Just as I was reaching it, something got in my way, the hawk. It blocked my path and we fought in the air. I was trying to get out but it just wouldn't let me. Why was it acting like that? I don't know exactly what happened next, all I know is suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in one of my wings. We must have locked our wings together in a strange way, because it hurt like hell. I screamed in my mind as we both fell to the ground. The blonde girl ran to the hawk, a worried look in her face. I was so tired, I had morphed too fast, too many times. The boys started to come towards me, slowly, hoping I hadn't noticed. I thought about flying again, but the hawk might try to stop me again. I couldn't stand another fight. So, I demorphed. They stopped and stared at me. I was all dirty and my hair covered half my face. The shack was also pretty dim, so I'm sure they weren't able to take a really good look at me.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, everyone in utter silence, I could only hear my own breathing outside the noise of the woods. It was a stalemate. They wouldn't move because they were trying to find out what I would do. They had been avoiding making the first move from the start. And well, I couldn't do anything, because I didn't know what I could do. If I morphed cat, there was no way out, if I morphed horse, same thing. The only chance I had of getting out was as a hawk and I wasn't about to try that again anytime soon. So, as I said, we reached stalemate. But I knew I couldn't wait long, not only because of the controllers, but because I was really beginning to feel like I was about to faint from exhaustion. Then it hit me. Whoever they were, they didn't seem to be much surprised when I morphed. Sure, they were startled, but there were no screams, no almost fainting, instead, they'd tried to catch me all along. Could they be controllers? I would be dead for sure, worse, they'd take me back to the yeerk pool for re-infestation. But something was wrong, they had no weapons, they hadn't said anything, and by now, they shouldn't be too worried with what they said. The controllers usually gave themselves away very easily when they thought they were on to something. Whatever or whoever they were, I had to get out of here; if they were controllers, they would call for reinforcements, if those weren't already underway. My heart skipped a beat when the shack door slowly opened. Then I saw the last thing I ever expected to see. The person who had just come in through the door was a boy, about our age (we were all in our teens), with the last vestiges of blue disappearing from his face. He came in saying something, not paying any attention to the others, and not realizing I was there.

"I do not know how..."

He stopped suddenly as soon as he saw me, all the blue patterns were gone. Something inside me clicked and the few memories I had of my father when I was a child, came back. And all the memories of my family's death too. They made my voice fill with rage and I almost hissed the word

"Andalite!"

He looked at me, clearly astonished, but trying to hide it. His human face gave him away. I looked at all of them, one by one, and I could see it in their eyes. My expression changed from that of fear to that of satisfaction. If I were going to die, I could at least take one of them with me.

***

Tobias

She said it, she knew what he was. She looked at us and we saw her expression change, she didn't seem afraid anymore, but I couldn't make out the look in her face. The others had each a different reaction. Jake frowned, Cassie froze, Rachel just stared and Marco, he tried to be funny, as always.

"Great timing, Ax"

He looked at us, confused and spoke to us in thought-speak

Is she a controller? 

I don't think so, but there's no way we can be sure 

"She talks like a yeerk, she acts like a yeerk, maybe she is a yeerk." Marco said accusingly

"Shut up, Marco!" Rachel whispered through clinched teeth, looking him straight in the eyes. 

The girl didn't look like she was listening to us any longer. She stared at Ax for a few moments, a hardened expression on her face. Then her eyes fell on her hand, which she raised a few centimeters away from her face. Her expression softened a bit, as she seemed to concentrate or focus on something. Jake had used her distraction to our advantage. He was slowly coming behind her, the rope in his hands. She was still looking at her hand. For a second, it looked as though it was becoming a wing, but nothing happened. She kept on looking at it, it started to change. Jake was already behind her. He was about to grab her when she turned around and the paw struck his arm. He jerked backwards, more as a result of the surprise, than of the actual pain. Cassie went over to him, he looked at his arm and we could see three long strikes beginning to bleed. The girl gave a subtle smile and demorphed her hand, I think I was the only one who heard her say, more to herself than to Jake 

"Never attack a cat when it's cornered"

She spoke again, this time her words were directed to us,

"Are you all andalites?"

She was looking at each one us, searching our faces for reactions. She was gambling, she wasn't sure of what she had said, but she might be hoping that something would give us away. Something did; she stared at Cassie for a moment, or was it Jake? Then she shook her head, answering her own question

"No, you're not. You're human alright"

She was almost laughing, but her expression kept changing from smug to threatening. It was as if she were crazy. Or was it all just an act? She looked at Ax, who had been silent the whole time and continued. 

"Show your true form andalite. What are you afraid of? A mere human? Are you as coward as the yeerk in your brain, or is it the yeerk's cowardliness reflecting on you? Must you hide behind your human _friends_? Are you that much of a coward, _yeerk_?"

She stretched the last word as much as she could, saying it with a mixture of anger and despise in her voice. Ax became quickly revolted and was about to shout something, when Marco stopped him. It wouldn't matter much, anyway. She already knew too much, controller or not, she knew enough to get us all into trouble. The type of trouble that puts a slug in your brain. We didn't say anything, we had to keep calm. The girl, however, wasn't afraid of speaking anymore.

"You're not taking me, you know. I won't let you. I'd rather die than let you put that thing in my head again."

"Again?" Cassie asked almost out of reflex, the girl just ignored her.

"How about it, yeerks? What's it going to be? I kill one of you and you kill me? Controllers are just puppets, aren't they?"

Rachel let her anger take control:

"We are not controllers!"

"Rachel!"

Jake tried to silence her, but it was too late. Rachel just ignored him

"We fight the yeerks."

The girl laughed, I mean, really laughed out loud, like she had just heard a big joke.

"Yeah, right... And I'm the queen of Egypt", she said, mocking us.

"Nice to meet you, Cleopatra" Marco grinned, not actually looking at her.

Shut up, you guys, don't give yourselves away! 

Maybe I was a bit harsh, but I felt it necessary; it worked. The silence took over again. The girl observed her hand, it began to change, but before completed, it went back to normal. I think I saw a hint of fear come into her eyes, but it came and went so fast, I don't believe the others noticed.

What's she doing? - I asked

No one answered. They didn't know either. Suddenly, the weirdest thing happened, she looked straight at me, then I heard her voice, but her lips weren't moving, she was speaking only to me, thought-speaking. Her voice seemed calm, but I could tell she was trying hard to make it that way. I could hear a bit of fear tucked away, trying to get out.

You're stuck in morph, aren't you? 

I didn't answer. Maybe she'd just think she made a mistake and not give it a second thought. I assumed wrong. It wasn't going to be that easy to fool her.

You're staring at me, hawk. I know you heard me. You are stuck in morph, aren't you? 

I hesitated a bit, then gave in and answered with caution. 

Yes 

What's your name? 

I was stunned, she was being so nice, her voice was calm, but confident. I could tell it wasn't an act. She was being genuinely nice to me! I still didn't trust her, but I figured my name wouldn't change much, the fact still remained that she knew who we were. And besides, maybe she would reveal something. I was wrong again.

Tobias. What's yours? 

I asked in the same tone that she was speaking in, trying to maintain the tone that I had heard in her voice. She hesitated a bit before answering, maybe considering the same facts I had. When she spoke, her voice was still calm, but her expression remained serious, as she appeared to be staring at nowhere.

I'm Alyssa. Tobias... that's a weird name for an andalite... Unless your friend over there broke the law of Seerow's kindness. Can your human friends morph too? They didn't seem very surprised when they saw me do it. 

I was silent. She had read their expressions correctly. They hadn't been at all surprised by the morphing, just by the person doing it. I was trying to think about something to say when I heard Ax thought-speaking only to us.

She appears to be communicating with someone through thought-speak. How that is possible, I don't know, but we must stop her. She might be giving away our location. I thought yo...

She's talking to me 

I interrupted him in mid-sentence. They all looked at me, shocked, especially Rachel, on whose arm I was resting... I had almost forgotten I was still sortta mad at her. The others looked stunned and confused at the same time. I ignored their looks of silent disapproval and spoke to Alyssa:

Why are you talking to me? Don't you think we're controllers? 

Yeerks don't waste their time infesting animals, or people stuck in animal form, for that matter. You would be of little value to them, and if you voluntarily helped them, you wouldn't be in this dilapidated shack in the middle of the woods just for fun, you'd be in some headquarters or something 

I don't know if that made actual sense to her ( it sure didn't make much sense to me), but I could see that she was desperately searching for someone to trust, and in her opinion, I was the best thing she could find. I gambled on that feeling: 

Then you would believe me if I told you that my friends are not controllers? 

They could fool you... 

No, they couldn't. Believe me, I would know. You've gotta trust me, they're not controllers 

I could tell she wanted badly to believe me. She looked as thought she was going to give in, but instead, she just looked at us. The others were silent, awaiting her reaction, I had let them hear my last phrase. She looked like she was softening, then, out of nowhere, all the anger returned.

"No, the andalites are controllers. Otherwise... No! They have to be controllers!"

"Otherwise what?"

She seemed to be too wrapped up in her own thoughts to answer Jake's question. She mouthed some words I couldn't make out, then stared straight at Ax:

"Have the andalites struck a deal with the yeerks to save their lives?"

She chose the words carefully and studied his reaction. She actually seemed to calm down when Ax almost exploded, taken over by rage and disgust at her "suggestion":

"We would NEVER EVER make a deal with those... those..."

"Ax, calm down, she was only testing you"

Cassie spoke for the first time in a while, studying the girl's face. We all looked at Alyssa and we could see it was true. She was smiling, a faint, subtle smile, but a smile nonetheless. It didn't last long though, she quickly changed back into her sad expression. 

"If they're not controllers, why haven't they come? Have they given up on us?"

She looked at Ax with a face so filled with sadness that it crushed my heart and if I had been human, I think my face would have shown the sympathy I felt for that strange girl I didn't even know. The others momentarily seemed to feel the same. Ax tried not to look her in the eyes, he looked embarrassed:

"They are too busy fighting the war on other fronts, our forces are too widely stretched"

Alyssa dropped down on the floor as though that phrase had just took away every last ounce of strength she had left in her. She cradled her head in her hands and started repeating to herself sarcastically:

"Too busy... too busy..."

We thought she had forgotten all about us, but then she suddenly looked up, her face serious again.

"How many andalites do they have?"

"Only Visser 3's host, he's the only one" - Jake said cautiously

"Then there's still hope?" - she asked

"There's always hope"

Jake said the phrase with a firm voice, trying to sound nor soft, nor harsh . She just looked at him, the shadow of a smile on her lips. No one spoke for quite a while. Eventually, the silence was broken by Ax, who pulled Jake to the side and whispered:

"Now what, Prince Jake?"

"Ax, don't call me prince." - he sighed -"Well, I guess we wait the three days and see."

Rachel looked at Alyssa, who was still sitting motionless on the floor, ignoring our presence:

"Can you prove you're not a controller?"

Alyssa looked up at her with hostility back in her voice

"Can you?"

They seemed to engage in a staring match, broken when Cassie stepped between them: 

"Okay... I guess we wait the three days then"

Jake picked up the rope from the floor. Alyssa followed him only with her eyes, we all knew where this was going. 

"So, where is she going to stay?"

He said that reaching for her arm. She pulled away and stood up, staring at him

"You are not tying me up. I'll wait the three days here, you all can take turns watching me, but you are not tying me up. You may not be controllers, but that doesn't mean I trust you...yet" - she tried to keep her voice leveled, but there was a slight panic to her tone

We all looked at each other. We'd have to go along with it, at least for now. We weren't exactly looking forward to a fight. Who knows what morphs she had. Jake finally spoke:

"OK, it's late, we're all tired and we have to go home. Tobias, Ax, you two take turns watching her tonight. We'll come by in the morning. And just in case, I'll leave the rope right here."- he paused and looked at Alyssa- "Will that be okay with you guys?"

Alyssa nodded, Ax agreed, but then again, whatever Jake said, Ax did, except maybe stop calling him prince. And me? What did I do? The only thing I could have done, I prepared myself for a long night. A very long night.

***

Alyssa

The two girls and two boys left me there with the hawk (I mean, Tobias), and the andalite. They took the horse with them because, frankly, I don't think there was room enough for all of us in the shack. They said something about taking it to Cassie's barn. Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, letting them leave like that, but I couldn't do anything. If I had forced the issue longer, they could have tried to hold me by force, and then, when I wouldn't be able to defend myself, they would have been sure I was defenseless. At least this way, I still posed a slight threat to them, it was pretty obvious they didn't want to fight, that only meant they weren't sure they would win. Fine by me. I wasn't exactly looking forward to fighting all of them and an andalite, but they didn't have to know that. 

The andalite's two hours were almost up, so he demorphed into his original form. I watched as blue fur sprouted from his skin, the extra eyes "popped" out, the mouth disappeared, the hind legs came out, and the tail, that deadly tail... I saw my father fall dead on the floor, his throat slashed, the blood on the andalite's tail, my sister fighting, the blade going straight for her, the panther screaming...Alyssa

Alyssa!

"Hum... what?"

Are you alright? You look kind of sick 

"I'm fine"

I was, really I was... lying through my teeth, that is. I wasn't fine, I was feeling ill just from thinking about mom and dad and Sarah. The andalite walked over to the boxes and opened one of them. He took out a small dirty pillow and two blankets.

We keep these here just in case we ever... you know... - he trailed off, looking uncomfortable, if that's possible.

Only then I realized I had been staring at him for quite some time now with an angry expression in my face. It must have been triggered by the memory. I tried to hide it by faking a smile

"Thank you"

I accepted the blankets and the pillow he handed over to me. I noticed he wasn't getting too close. I really didn't care, I was too tired to care. I spread one of the blankets on the floor, under the shelf in the corner of the room. I put the pillow in one of the sides and laid down, resting my head on it. I covered my dirty self with the not too clean blanket and stared around the shack, unwilling to fall asleep. The andalite seemed to talk with Tobias in private for a moment, then he turned off the lamp, tossed me a weird look and apparently went to sleep. I guessed Tobias was stuck with the first watch. I closed my eyes only after I was fairly sure the andalite was sleeping. I closed my eyes, but I didn't go to sleep. I just laid there thinking; maybe I could trust them. I had a feeling I could, but some feelings are wrong. A voice interrupted my thoughts, and for once I realized how much I missed hearing those voices in my head, and how relieved I was that it wasn't the yeerk speaking. It was Tobias, his voice calm and soothing: 

Are you asleep yet? 

I took a while to answer, but then again, why shouldn't I answer.

No, I'm not tired 

Liar 

I smiled, he was right.

Will you talk with me for a while until I fall asleep? - I asked

Sure... about what? 

Tell me about your friends. 

Well... where do I start? There's Cassie, the girl you threw against the wall...

Sorry... - I think I actually sounded embarrassed. But he just pretended he didn't hear it and continued:

She's the nature lover, you know, the "hug a tree, save the whales" type. She's also the most caring and understanding 

The blonde boy? 

The one with scratch marks on his arm? - I think I heard a small laugh - He's sort off our "fearless leader", Jake. The blonde girl is his cousin, Rachel. She's well..., guess you could say reckless. She and Marco are always sortta arguing, he's the "class clown" type, always making jokes and stuff. And Ax, well, Ax is kindda hard to describe, he's a great alien, but he makes a lousy human. 

He meant it as a joke, but I didn't laugh, I needed only to think of an andalite to become serious. I think Tobias noticed it, because he stopped laughing and spoke sort of uncomfortable:

I guess that's all 

Not exactly.. - I tried to sound cheerful - You forgot one 

Who? - he asked surprised

You 

There's not much to say... I'm just someone who overstayed the two hours and got stuck. 

C'mon. That can't be all... who are you? The real you, inside? - he didn't answer, so I changed the question - Didn't your family worry when you disappeared? 

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't even noticed I was missing. Or maybe they noticed and just didn't care. You see, I lived with my aunt, I never quite knew my mother and father. I got thrown around a lot

I was silent, I didn't know what I could say. I got the feeling he didn't want to talk about it though. The silence prolonged itself until I tried to make a very obvious change of subject:

If anybody heard us talking right now, they would never have guessed that just a couple of hours ago, you were trying to trap me, and I was ready to die fighting you - he was still silent, so I added laughing- Just the way to start a beautiful friendship

I got him to laugh a bit, then he said softly:

Your strange, Alyssa 

What! Why do you say that? - that wasn't exactly what I had been expecting to hear, I tried not to laugh. 

Well, You said it yourself; you were ready to die, and now, we're here talking and laughing like old friends

There's no reason for me to be scared now, is there? I trust you... up to a certain point. And besides, if you try anything, I'll rip your head off. 

I tried to make it sound like an actual threat, but the laughter got in the way. After a while, we both laughed, in our thoughts and I laughed out loud. We still hadn't stopped laughing when he teased

Are you sure this is going to help you sleep? 

No, I'm not sure. But it made me feel better... thanks - I started to drift away, I could barely hear his voice saying:

No problem 

I was tired, so tired. I began to let go of consciousness and welcome the utter silence and darkness that began to embrace me

Tobias... good night 

I don't know if I actually said it or not, or even if he heard me, because at that moment, I fell asleep. I slept and I dreamed. The dream was confusing, just a blurred mixture of memories and images my own subcontious created. ... I saw my father morphing... Sarah chasing the burglars... mom in a coma... my father staring at the watch as I heard a disembodied voice say: "Just two more minutes Kirsten"...I saw the yeerk pool... the black panther... the roach... I heard the yeerk mocking me: "You didn't help them, they're all dead, all because you couldn't help them..." The words kept repeating themselves as the images continued to pass by. I saw Sarah's fur darkening... my dad lying on the floor, his throat slit. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Then I turned to see Sarah's motionless body on the floor, soaked in her own blood. My mother coming up to me, her hands wet with my father's blood: "You could have done something, you could have saved us all!" Everything faded again into darkness as I tried to scream that no, I couldn't have made a difference. Another image appeared, I recognized it as being a memory. I was still very young, and I had been watching dad and Sarah fight through the keyhole. Only now, I was inside the room with them and dad was yelling at both of us. I tried hard to understand what they were saying, but all I could hear was the yeerk laughing at me: " Why didn't you help them? Oh, yes, I almost forgot, you can't morph... you're just a defenseless kid, even your sister, the mighty black panther eventually died. I didn't actually see her death, but I could make you show it to me one more time... Why do you hide it from me? Sooner or later, you'll give up. Maybe we'll let you see the animals we fed your father's remains to..." He went on torturing me and laughing as the image faded away and I started to hear voices. For a moment, I actually thought it was Sarah's, but it couldn't be, because I was no longer dreaming; I was awake, and Sarah was dead. 

***

Tobias

I didn't get much sleep that night. Ax and I took turns watching Alyssa while she slept. She seemed to be having a nightmare, but I thought it best not to wake her. The sun eventually came up. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, I wanted to go get myself something to eat, but Ax was still asleep, so I had to wait. Guess it was okay, though, I couldn't wait for Alyssa to wake up, I had so many questions I wanted to ask her, so many questions left unanswered. I was curious, so sue me. I was going to wake her up, but she was finally sleeping so soundly that I didn't have the courage. And as for Ax, he had passed out about three hours ago and I don't think he'd be waking up on his own any time soon. I heard the others coming in as birds. They greeted me and started to demorph. As soon as they were done they went to check on Alyssa. Jake leaned over and brushed aside some hair to reveal her face. He whispered to us: 

"She looks so peaceful, so harmless"

Rachel tossed her hair back and hid a smile, or rather, tried to. She teased him:

"Just keep in mind that peaceful, harmless girl is still the same one who clawed your arm last night. Not to mention kicking Cas up against the wall"

They stared at each other until a sleepy Ax, who Marco had awakened, spoke, as he began to morph human:

What are we going to do ab...about her Prince Jake?"

"Ax, don't call me prince, ok? About her...what's her name again?"

Alyssa 

"Alyssa... well, we wait the three days and depending on what happens...we'll see "

"And until then?" - Cassie asked

"Until then, she'll stay here, we'll all take turns watching her and when we have to go home, Tobias and Ax can keep an eye on her" - he looked at me - "Can you guys handle it?"

Sure. And besides, I think it'll be nice to have some company - They all gave me a strange look, especially Rachel - I think - I added after a while, feeling a bit uncomfortable with all the glances

"Yeah, and it just might be a two for one sale. This weekend's special: get some company and receive a free slug installed in your brain, no extra charge"

Marco (who else) said in his best announcer's voice. Rachel elbowed him in the stomach and he went back a few steps:

"Ow! Careful, you don't wan..."

"Shh! Shut up you two! You'll wake her"

Jake whispered, pulling them to the other side of the shack. I looked at Alyssa, her eyes closed

They couldn't wake you, could they? 

I used private thought-speak. There was a moment of silence, then I heard the answer

How'd you know I wasn't sleeping? 

Your breathing changed a couple of minutes ago

My voice was serious. I was starting to have second thoughts about trusting her. I mean, I could hear this little voice in the back of my head saying I could, but who says I should listen to it? Her voice came just as serious after a short pause:

Did you tell them? 

Maybe this was one of her tests, maybe she was just trying to find out what we thought about her (and in this case, she wouldn't be too happy with what she had heard). It really didn't matter why she was trying to fool us, I did have the perfect solution. I spoke with a tone of reprimand and authority:

No, I didn't tell them. But you will, right now. 

As soon as I finished the sentence, she opened her eyes and sat up. Her light green eyes were all red as if she hadn't slept at all, her clothes were a mess, dirt, leaves and last night's rain being to blame, and her brown hair was all tangled up. She looked at me, not exactly the prettiest sight on earth, but beneath all that mess, I could tell she was beautiful. She directed her stare towards the others, not saying anything. Her expression being the same one as during the stalemate last night, only difference was in the fact that now most of the anger was gone. Although I guess she wasn't too happy about the fact that we didn't quite trust her, and her face clearly showed it.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to know I shouldn't get your two for one sale"

She answered sharply. Marco looked away, avoiding her stare. Jake came closer to her, but she sortta moved away, so he just stayed where he was:

"Let me introduce ourselves: I'm Jake, this is Cassie, Rachel, Marco, and you know Tobias and Ax over there"

He pointed at each one of us and Alyssa noticed that the scratches in his arms were gone. I think it was only at that moment that she was sure that all of us could morph. She tried to mask the expression of pure realization that had dawned on her face, but Jake noticed what she was staring at and why. He stopped talking and looked at all of us. There was a small silence, broken by Cassie, who came up to Alyssa and handed her a small bag. 

"We brought you some stuff. It's not much, but it'll do for now"

Alyssa accepted the bag and checked the contents. Inside, she found a set of clothes, a sandwich, a bottle of water, a tooth brush and a comb. Alyssa looked at Cassie and mouthed a thank you, to me she asked if it wouldn't be better to find her a place to take a bath. She raised the toothbrush with an inquiring look, I realized then that brushing her teeth would be kindda hard without toothpaste. I laughed in my thoughts, they could just bring what was missing later. The silence was broken once again by Ax:

"Excuse zz me. How can you be able to talk without being in morph, ph?"

"Why in the world do you talk like that?"- she asked staring at him

"Andalites have no mouths, so Ax likes to play with sounds"- Jake explained

"Still weird... Anyway, why shouldn't I be able to thought-speak in my original form? You and Tobias do it, and besides, I've always done, as long as I can remember anyway..." 

We all looked at her, confused, until Rachel put into words what our (or should I say their) faces were showing:

"Always?"

Alyssa looked at our faces and I think that's when she realized we had no idea what she was talking about. I think she considered for a moment whether or not to tell us. I saw her eyes rest on me and a slight smile come across her face:

"I was born of an andalite father and a human mother" 

She paused to see our reaction. For a moment there, it looked as if Ax were going to say something, but his chin had just dropped, no sound was actually coming from his mouth. Jake signaled her to continue, she did:

"My sister and I were given the ability to morph when we were still very young. Our mother wasn't aware of anything. Father had decided not to tell her, he had been stuck in morph when I was still only a baby, so I don't remember his original form"

She paused and looked at me, I realized why she had been so sympathetic towards me, she then lowered her stare to the ground. I was about to ask what had happened to her sister when she raised her head and proceeded: 

"One night, the controllers came..." 

She trailed off, but I don't think she even noticed, her voice must have continued inside her head. She was looking in our direction, not at us, but through us, her eyes wide open, not blinking even once. I somehow knew she was playing the images in her mind, over and over again. I wanted to make her stop, but all I could do was watch as a single tear fell down her face. She blinked and realized that she had been sitting there, not saying anything and wiped the tear, almost embarrassed for showing herself so vulnerable. None of us knew the right thing to say. To my surprise, or should I say, everyone's surprise, it was Marco who put a hand on her shoulder and said gently:

"That's all right. Sometimes the only thing you can do is cry"

She had her eyes closed. She opened them and looked at Marco searching for understanding; it was there. I saw a few more tears come down as we all kept silent. Jake was able to remain focused:

"How did they find you?"

Marco gave him a 'can't it wait?' look. Alyssa wiped the tears from her face and gave Marco a reassuring smile. She went on, her voice started low and trembling, but she found her anger again and her voice gained strength:

"They tricked us; Sarah and me. One night, about a month ago, mom and dad were out of town and two burglars broke into the house. I was watching TV in the living room and Sarah was making dinner. I guess the TV was on too loud, cause I didn't hear them come in. Before I could realize what was going on two masked men were holding a gun to my head. I didn't have time to warn Sarah and she came out of the kitchen unprepared. They tied us both to chairs in the kitchen and went into the bedroom to grab our stuff. Sarah morphed cat and released herself from the ropes. She then demorphed and started to untie me, but I told her to call the police first"

Alyssa paused when she saw the puzzled looks surrounding her. She made no effort at all to explain why she hadn't morphed too, and since no one dared to ask, she continued:

"Sarah was stubborn, she thought she could handle anything in the world, she was half right..."- I saw Jake shift his gaze to Rachel for a moment - " Anyway, she opened the kitchen door, morphed panther; she loved felines; and went hunting for thieves, despite my protests. She even left me there tied up, 'for my own safety' she said. Through the open door, I was able to hear the men scream when the panther surprised them. That was right before I saw them run past me, straight for the front door. As soon as they were gone, Sarah demorphed and untied me. I was so mad at her, and she just stood there laughing. If only she had known, if only we had figured it out. That night sealed our fate because, you see, they were controllers. It had all been planned, they tricked us into revealing ourselves, and we never found out until it was too late. We didn't tell dad anything over the phone, we would wait until they returned from their trip. Maybe that was our mistake."

I knew she was done talking for the moment, we would have to wait until she was willing to go on. She tried to hold more tears inside while she played with a small strand of hay in her hands. We didn't say anything, all we could do was wait and offer her some comfort. I had a feeling she was going to need it, but then again, she might just be a controller lying to us. Somehow, I found that hard to believe, I think she looked like exactly what she was; a frightened, lonesome girl. I know I could just be underestimating her. I also had a feeling there was more to her story than what she was telling us, much more.

***

Alyssa

I couldn't go on. The scenes were still fresh in my brain, the suffering and pain still crushed my heart, leaving me without air, just like the day it happened. There were so many doubts, so many 'ifs'. What if Sarah hadn't morphed? What if dad hadn't got stuck as a human? What if we had told him sooner... Too many doubts, I had to stop dwelling on them, but I couldn't. And instead of finding solutions, I had found more questions. Who were these people? Were they traitors, were they warriors? Were their hearts filled with joy, sorrow or pain? Too many questions to which I didn't have an answer. Could I trust them? They didn't seem to trust me. I felt something wet in my face, it was my tears. I realized that I was crying and that they were all staring at me in silence. I guess that in some level they felt sorry for me. True, they didn't know what had happened, but they felt for me anyway. I didn't want that, I didn't want their pity. I dried my face with my dirty sleeve and broke the silence, more like shattered it. My face was serious, but no longer filled with sadness, only anger. I did not want their pity, the most I wanted from them was understanding, so I explained: 

"Our parents got home three days later. On the same night they arrived, the controllers came. My sister put up quite a fight, inspite of her injuries, she was actually winning. My father was doing his share too. There were only a few controllers left when the andalite came. He easily killed my father and my sister. I got hit with a beam and blacked out. I don't know what happened to my mother. I was taken away and made into a controller. The yeerk in my brain was a low ranking yeerk, as insignificant as I was to them. He was actually pretty cocky or stupid, he liked to amuse himself by playing with my feelings, making me remember my family's death, lying to me about them. He went to great lengths to hide the truth from me, making it easier for me to hide a few things, too. He didn't bother looking at all my memories, he was taking his time before looking into everything, he kept pretty much focused on Sarah's death. I may not know what happened after I blacked out, but I do know that they messed up that night. You see, they were planning to bring their own 'pre-infested' cops if someone called the police, but it backfired. My neighbors did in fact call the police, but there was a patrol car right around the corner. The controllers that were still alive were barely enough to drag the dead out and take me. I'm not sure about what happened to my mother; I think they dumped Sarah's body somewhere where it couldn't be found. They left my father's body there, I'm not entirely sure why. Bottom line is simply that they screwed up, big time."

I couldn't help but give out a little smile, after all, the yeerks hadn't gotten us all. I may not be totally safe, but the others... better dead than a controller, father would always tell us. Can't say I fully agree, but if I had had to go on with that thing in my mind, in time, I'd probably wish I'd died with them. I realized that I had been looking (more like staring at the andalite) for some time now, he was in his natural form. I hadn't even noticed I was doing it. I tried to remove my stare, but it took some effort, my eyes weren't willing to obey. I finally managed to look away casually, but I think they all saw right through it. The silence remained for a moment, then Rachel asked the question I was hoping they would overlook,

"Why didn't you morph?"

I just stared at the strand of hay I had in my hands. I didn't think I could tell them, not now, not until I could completely trust them, not until I was sure that they trusted me. The only reason I hadn't been tied up by now was that they were trying to avoid a fight and besides; how do you tie someone who can morph? That is really stupid, you know. I would tell them later, after the three days, when they trusted me. Until then, I'd just have to stall, try not to give it away. I tried to find an answer to give to Rachel's question, but I couldn't think of one. The only response I had was the one I had kept repeating in my head for many years. My voice came out almost as a whisper, but it came out loud enough to be heard

"I couldn't help"

"Why not?"

"I just couldn't ok? I wanted to, but I couldn't do it!"

I snapped, I guess I lost my temper or something, I was harsher than I had intended, I practically yelled at her. That made her mad, really mad. I saw the anger surface on her face (that's when I realized I had chosen the wrong person to yell at). She was angry and I knew she'd lash out at me, but the word came out of her mouth a few seconds later, as though she had already been thinking it and was only turning the thought into sound

"Coward!"

Whatever it was that I had been expecting to hear, that wasn't it. Where had that come from? It caught me by surprise, the harm was even greater. The word echoed in my head, releasing all my doubts. Had I been a coward? Would I have made that much of a difference? Maybe if I had helped them, if I had joined the fight... Maybe they would be alive right now, then again, maybe I would be dead with them. There's no way to know what the outcome would have been. And as I said before, there are always too many doubts, there's no way to be sure. I just stared at Rachel for a while considering what she had said. Maybe I was a coward, at that moment I wanted nothing more than to be able to just run away; just run until I could leave all the pain behind me. But that would mean I was indeed a coward. No, I wasn't going anywhere; and no, I wasn't a coward. My voice came out firm, but still sort of low

"I am not a coward!"

I couldn't tell if she was still angry or if she had another reason to wanna see me hurt, what I could tell, though, was that she was doing a pretty good job at it,

"Oh, is that right? You didn't help your family when you should have..."

"Rachel!!"

"Hey, that's enough" - they silenced her

Her words felt like knives being stabbed into my heart, but I managed to keep it inside. I wasn't going to let it show, and at least this once I wasn't backing down. I couldn't afford to. I had already lost so many battles, so many internal conflicts, I was not about to lose a simple discussion (ok, so maybe it wasn't just another simple discussion). Anyway, Rachel wasn't backing down either and she wasn't finished yet. Her voice wasn't angry anymore, or maybe I wasn't paying attention, it was low, but it still had a threatening tone to it,

"So why didn't you morph?"

I had no intention what-so-ever of answering her. I think she knew it, they all did. Someone put a hand on my shoulder, I jumped a little at the touch. It was Cassie, I guess she was trying to prevent someone from ending up uncontious on the floor. She stood beside me and almost whispered, in a comforting tone,

"That's all right, you don't have to tell us now if you don't want to" 

I saw Rachel give her a dirty look and turn away, she said nothing, but if looks could kill... Cassie ignored her and said out loud, trying to add a cheerful tone to her voice, 

"Look, I'll take the first watch right now, I don't have much to do at home, anyway" - she looked at me, still trying to sound cheerful - "we'll try and get you cleaned up"

She gave a little smile, which actually led me to do the same. The others were reluctant to leave at first, but she reassured them that everything would be just fine, Since Ax and Tobias didn't seem to be budging, she added: 

"C'mon, guys, leave. Go get some breakfast or something, she's not gonna undress in front of you, now is she?"

I almost burst into laughter. Ax started to morph bird and when he was finished, they started to leave

Jake's shift is in three hours, see you in four. Bye. Let's go Ax, I'm hungry - I heard Tobias say

Yes, food. Good-bye 

"See you two later" - I shouted as they flew off

When they left I looked at myself in frustration, I really was a mess. I looked as if I had stumbled downhill until I fell into a puddle of mud, then got up ran out into the rain, mixing it up with the mud, rolled around in bushes and finally ended up face down in the dirt... and that's just the half of it! I looked up at Cassie and started laughing,

"Get me cleaned up, huh? That's gonna be like today's challenge, right?"

I ate the sandwich in less than a minute, I think I barely chewed (hey, I was starving, ok?), the clothes weren't a perfect fit, but we managed. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Jake came over for his shift three hours later. He was sort of uncomfortable about talking with me at first, maybe he was still suspicious, after all, it hadn't even been 24 hours. Anyway, I kept trying to ask him some stuff about them, you know, how they had been given the ability to morph; for how long they'd had it, things like that. He didn't answer most of my questions, though. What I did manage to find out was that this war was extremely personal for him, his brother was a controller. I was shocked, to say the least. I couldn't imagine myself living in the same house as a controller, talking with him every day, knowing what he was going through and not be able to do anything. It must be awful, and that's putting it lightly. I began to develop this whole new sense of respect and admiration for Jake. 

Tobias stopped by to let us know that he and Ax would be in his meadow if there should be an emergency. Marco's shift was up next. He didn't look as uncomfortable as Jake had looked at first, but maybe he was just putting on an act. As soon as he came in, he said 'hello, oh mighty queen'; I remembered what I had said the night before and rolled my eyes, then giggled a bit (so sue me, I thought it was funny), I was desperately after something to laugh about, so spending time with Marco was the perfect thing. We laughed most of the time, but we were also serious, I talked about death and loss while he listened carefully to every word. Strange, he was the last person I would have chose to talk to (maybe not, there was no way in hell I was speaking to that andalite any time soon! I really don't know why...). At one point, Marco started to talk about his mother, there was something in his voice I couldn't make out and there were a few times he actually spoke of her in the present tense. He quickly corrected himself and I pretended not to notice. We were back to the jokes when a bird flew in and started to demorph into an andalite. 

The sight of him still bothered me, but I hid it well, neither of them saw me shudder when the transformation was complete and the tail appeared. Marco had to go home and help his dad with something, and you can believe me when I say I had never tried so hard to keep someone from leaving without actually pinning them down to the floor as I was trying right them. It didn't work, he really had to hurry home. After he left, the atmosphere got a little tense; Ax just stood there, observing me. He tried to open up a conversation from time to time, but I pretty much killed it with a word or two. I wasn't doing it on purpose, I just didn't feel comfortable near him, it brought back too many painful memories. But I did feel sorry for him, for him and Tobias, they had been the most changed by their situation, at least from the outside point of view. I felt sorry for them, they had lost the lives they had been accustomed to having, their world had changed more than anybody else's. At least the others could still pretend that their lives weren't torn apart. It would be hard, but it was doable. Ax and Tobias however, had their entire existence turned inside out. Hell, Ax wasn't even on his own planet anymore, and Tobias, he's not even the same species as he was before... 

The silence was beginning to get to me, I faked a yawn and with the excuse of being tired, I said goodnight to Ax (the sun was just beginning to set) and laid down on the blankets that were still on the floor. I closed my eyes, but I wasn't really sleepy, I just didn't want to talk or look at Ax. Maybe in time I'd get used to him, but not today. I rested, enveloped in the darkness that surrounded me. I must have dozed off, 'cause the next thing I knew, I heard Rachel and Tobias coming in for Rachel's shift. Tobias apparently went to sleep and Ax must've gone to sleep too, silence reigned again. I didn't bother to open my eyes, why should I? Rachel and I hadn't exactly started out on the right foot this morning... I just tried to go back to sleep, I eventually succeeded, note that I wouldn't have tried as hard if I knew I would have another nightmare. 

It started out much like the other one, a confusing mixture of images and sounds, then it began to change. I was being hunted down by Visser 3 himself, in his andalite form. I hid in some shadows while Rachel's words echoed all around me, blurring into the yeerk's voice. 'Coward! You didn't even try!', they kept on saying as I tried to cover my ears. Visser 3 found me, I wanted to run, but I couldn't, I was frozen. The tail blade was coming towards me in slow motion, I could feel the terror... then I was watching from the outside as I was about to be killed, the tail hesitated for a second, then, when it delivered the final blow, it wasn't me anymore, it was Sarah. I screamed as the blade went through her...

I woke up breathing heavily, my skin cold to the touch and that feeling of absolute fear still inside me. I wanted to scream, but I didn't. I tried to disguise whatever expression my face showed at that moment and looked around, hoping that whoever was on watch hadn't noticed. 'Lucky me, it's still Rachel's shift', I thought to myself with sarcasm. I looked straight at her face, which was being illuminated by the lamp, and realized that her eyes were closed. This was just too perfect to be true.

"Rachel, you awake?"

There was no answer, not that I was expecting one, but I had to check it out anyway. I felt a sudden urge to get out of there, go outside, take a walk. I knew it was crazy, but I had to get out of there. It was a big risk, but one I was willing to take at the time. I didn't like feeling trapped. I looked at the hole in the roof, maybe I could still get out as a hawk. I slowly uncovered myself and concentrated on the hawk; the change was as smooth as ever. A few seconds later, a hawk was leaving the shack and going out for a stroll. It was dark, but I could manage with the full moon. I landed in a small clearing and demorphed in the shadows. My eyes took a while to adjust to the dim light the moon provided. As my weak human eyes adapted to the darkness, I wished I had an owl morph. I heard the sound of water nearby, a river, perhaps. I followed that sound until I came to a small river not far away. I walked up to the margin and sat on some rocks at the edge of the stream. I let my bare feet touch the water, it felt so good. I looked up at the stars and the full moon, everything was so beautiful, so calming. I enjoyed that perfect moment of peace. That perfect moment of freedom; freedom from everything, the yeerks, the nightmares... I felt like I could forget everything, all my worries and my problems. I just sat there, my eyes fixated on the rippling water. But I couldn't forget everything, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. Reality insisted on coming back to haunt me. 

I had to return to the shack before someone woke up, if it wasn't too late already. If they were awake, I was in big trouble. I concentrated on the hawk, but the changes didn't begin right away. They didn't begin at all, I concentrated harder and harder, but nothing happened, I stopped trying. It was useless and I knew it. I looked around with my human eyes. "This is just great... No morphing...", I said to myself, just so I could hear my own voice, 'How am I supposed to get back now? Walking, perhaps? Pathetic!'. I couldn't see very far, I could end up getting lost, that'd be great. I was trying to think of something, when, for no reason at all, I started to cry. Well, not exactly for no reason at all. I cried for all the horror I had witnessed, all the loss I had suffered, all the memories I didn't want, and because of the simple reason that I didn't think it was too much to ask to be able to morph like everybody else. I was so angry, no, not angry, frustrated. Why did I have to be different? I didn't want to. I just went on crying. I made no real effort to stop. It was like all the sadness and emotions I'd been holding inside wanted to get out. I couldn't hold them in anymore. I didn't want to. I didn't have to. I was alone, I didn't have to pretend, I could take of that mask we all wear when we know we're being watched, judged. Right now, I could just be myself, whoever that was. 

For a moment, though, I knew exactly who I was, I was an angry girl who wanted more than she had. I asked out loud in anger: "Why give me a taste of something I can't have for good?". I didn't know who I was asking, maybe I was asking myself, maybe I was asking the river, maybe the trees, maybe the stars or even the skies. All I knew was; I wanted an answer. But even then I knew I wouldn't get one. I was about to start heading back, and hoping I was going the right way, when I heard footsteps behind me and whirled around to find a tall dark-haired boy staring at me. So it was weird not being the only one walking around in the woods at night, but I didn't think much of it at the time,

"Oh... I uh... I didn't know there was anybody in these parts... I'll... just... uh... go..." - I said, trying to wipe the tears and heading into the woods. He stood in front of me, blocking my path,

"Why can't you morph?"

I looked at him, surprised to say the least, and took a step back, preparing myself to run. I asked suspiciously,

"Who are you?"

He lowered his head a bit and smiled, not that ' I'm the villain and I just caught you' smile, but like he was embarrassed or something,

"Oh, I forgot..." - he sounded so familiar - "Alyssa, it's me, Tobias"

If I was surprised before, I was shocked now. I think my chin dropped. I mean, Tobias was a bird, you know, with feathers and talons; not a teenage boy (very cute, by the way). He couldn't have faked it, I saw him stay in hawk form more than two hours at a time. I suddenly felt hopelessly confused, "How... what... you can't..." was about all I managed to blurt out. He laughed at my state of confusion while I stared at him. Frankly, I didn't think it was funny. He tried to stop laughing and dismissed it with a wave,

"It's a long story" - he said - "... and I asked first. Why can't you morph now? I saw you do it before"

"I can morph. But you know all that stuff about morphing? Like, you can morph any animal you acquire, and you need only acquire it once?" - he nodded - "Well, doesn't quite work that way for me. The DNA sortta breaks up after I've had it for a while, and I'm using 'breaks up' for a lack of a better expression. I have to keep acquiring it again and again. Although some DNA takes longer than others. Some take days, other weeks, maybe months at most"

"How come?" - he asked, not entirely sure he should. I was sounding slightly angry and a little bitter.

"How should I know? I can't exactly go to a doctor and ask him what's wrong with my morphing, now can I? It has to do with something my father had, it didn't affect him or Sarah and me, but I had a weird side-effect to it. My DNA wasn't messed up, but the one's I acquire... Great side-effect, huh?"

I really don't think I noticed that I was yelling at him, I didn't mean to be rude, but I was. The next thing I said came out almost as a whisper,

"That's why I didn't help Sarah"

I started to cry again, I know tears won't get you anything, but have you ever tried telling them that? I lowered my head so he wouldn't see those tears I was trying to get rid off. They seemed to have minds of their own. One by one they slid down my cheeks and fell to the ground. I kept wiping my face with the back of my hands, but it wasn't enough to stop them, the tears were winning. He came closer and gently held my hands away from my face, so the tears would come down freely. I didn't object. I looked up with my tear stricken eyes and looked at his face. His voice came so comforting, so understanding,

"You shouldn't be afraid of crying"

I don't know; maybe it was his words or the way he said them, but his voice touched something inside of me. That's when I gave in to the tears and started sobbing uncontrollably on his shoulder. At first, he didn't seem sure of what to do, then he held me close, letting me cry as much as I wanted to. He didn't say anything else, but that was ok, sometimes you don't have anything to say. Sometimes you don't have to say anything, and this was one of those times. He held me until I was no longer crying, and even then I didn't let go of him. He didn't make any effort to pull away, we just stood there in a perfect embrace, enjoying it as long as it lasted. Then I heard a voice, we both did and we let go of each other.

Tobias? Alyssa!! Where are you guys? 

It was Rachel's voice. Her thought-speak to be more accurate. We looked up and spotted something flying up there in the sky

Down here by the river - he announced

As the owl landed, Tobias started to morph into himself again, then into an owl. 

What are you guys doing here? I was so worried! Don't ever do that again! - she calmed herself down a bit - What were you doing here anyway? 

She asked while she started to morph human, I guess her two hours wouldn't be enough for the flight back. I didn't know what to answer her, I mean, I didn't want to explain how I had taken the first opportunity and split. Luckily, I didn't have to, Tobias was the one who spoke,

We came for a walk 

Rachel was fully human now and she gave me a skeptical look and started to morph back to owl. I started to walk in the direction from which I had come, pretending I knew exactly were I was heading. I wasn't too far away that I didn't hear Rachel whisper "You shouldn't trust her, it hasn't been th" that's when her transformation was complete and she was cut off. She said

Alyssa, morph bird, it'll be faster 

She doesn't have an owl morph 

She can acquire it, duh! (author's note: expression is usually enhanced by hitting forehead) 

As if I didn't know... Anyway, I was too tired to morph, I was drained, both physically and mentally. I wasn't really in the mood to fly, I was doing just fine on my own two legs.

"No, I was the one who wanted to walk, right?"

She was going to argue but Tobias must have told her to let it go. To me, he said in private that I'd have to explain all this to the others the next morning. By 'all this' I understood that I'd have to tell them about my morphing, not my sneaking out as soon as Rachel fell asleep. They took off and led the way to the shack, Rachel carefully watching my every move. I almost tripped once or twice when I was looking up, searching for the two owls flying above. I heard Tobias try to suppress a laughter, truth is, I wanted to laugh too. This was so stupid, so downright idiotic, that it was actually funny. I was following two owls through the woods in the middle of the night, with only moonlight to help me see, and to top it all of, I insisted on looking up without standing still or at least slowing down my pace. I figured it was only a matter of time before I ran into something, like a tree, or maybe the ground! 

Rachel thought it was weird, but I had insisted that we had walked to the river and I had to prove that it was at least doable, right? Very hard, since we hadn't and it wasn't, not really. At least I managed to arrive in one piece. I literally fell on the blankets, exhausted. Tobias demorphed into his hawk form again. Rachel morphed human and quietly walked over to Ax, he was still asleep. She then turned to Tobias with a reprimanding look on her face,

"Promise me that next time I fall asleep, you'll wake me up before taking a mid-night stroll"

Tobias nodded his head as much as a hawk could and I held in a giggle. Rachel started to morph again, 

"See you tomorrow morning..."

I waved her goodbye and I think she and Tobias spoke in private. The owl flew off and I looked once again at Ax to make sure he wouldn't hear us. I turned to Tobias,

"Could you morph human?"

Why?

" 'Cause I'd rather talk with a human than a bird, and besides, I think I wanna hold off on the voices in my head for a while."

I gave a small laugh, remembering the yeerk I had been freed from. I watched as Tobias's feathers slowly turned to skin, his wings, his arms and hands, and his talons, feet. The noise was so disturbing, but I guess I was used to it by now, so I didn't mind. When he was fully human he just stood there, staring at me, actually, I was staring at him first. Tobias was taller than me; as a human anyway; he was thin and had dark brown hair cut at ear level. I couldn't see his eyes in the dim light, but they were dark. He looked at himself as if he had his clothes on backwards or something like that,

"What?" - he asked with an innocent look on his face.

"You're not getting away with it that easily! You are going to explain to me how a nothlit just morphed in front of me for the second time today!!" - I said, faking desperation and laughing quietly to avoid waking up the andalite

He smiled at me, it was a beautiful smile, I won't even try to describe it, I don't think I'll ever be able to, all I can say is that it made me melt and if I wasn't already on the floor, I would have fallen. But that's beside the point, for now. He went on to tell me how he received again the ability to morph after he had been trapped, (author's note: because of the differences between the tv show and the books, I'll avoid this subject) I listened to every word he said with undivided attention. If it were anyone else, they would have mistaken my actions with the yeerk's desire for information, but he didn't mention it, so why should I remind him of it? We talked until we were both tired and it was Ax's shift. I guess I fell asleep, it happened so fast I don't remember doing it. It was as if I had just closed my eyes when I heard voices surround me. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at a smiling Marco

"Wake up, sleepy head" - he teased me, pulling at my blanket softly

I rolled my eyes. Great, just the face I wanted to see first thing in the morning. And yes, that was sarcasm. I moved my eyes to look at the rest of them, they were all there, all human, except for Tobias. I thought that was strange, but then again, it could just be my view of things. (AN: This isn't from the TV show, it's more of something I read in some other fics) They all looked as though I were interrupting something, so I said a sleepy good morning and sat up, rubbing my tired eyes and straightening my hair. After they realized I didn't really care what they were doing, Jake said,

"Go on Rachel, you were saying..."

She tossed a look over to me but carefully avoided looking me straight in the eyes. Meanwhile I was too busy devouring the breakfast that Cassie had managed to bring me. I wanted to complain but I didn't; I did wanna know who were they trying to starve, the alleged yeerk in my brain, or me. I pretended not to listen to them, but I carefully paid attention to what they said. Rachel spoke, looking at me a while longer before shifting her gaze

"I think we should double up on the shifts today--"

"Great, I'll bring a deck of cards"

Marco interrupted her before she could explain why. That is, if she hadn't already done it before I woke up. I held in a laugh. I suddenly lost my appetite as I remembered that I had to tell them about last night and a sour taste invaded my mouth. I wasn't going to tell them all of what had happened, just the part of my not being able to morph, leaving out the part were I sneaked away when Rachel fell asleep or the part were Tobias found me crying by the river. Still eating the last part of the sandwich, I raised my hand sortta like the way a child would when it called for the teacher's permission to speak up. They all turned to look at me, Marco still throwing one last remark Rachel's way; which she decided to ignore. Jake looked at me inquiringly, and I heard Tobias encourage me in his thought-speak. I didn't know where to start, so I started to tell them exactly what I had told Tobias the night before; but it didn't feel the same, this didn't feel right. I felt like I had just told the person I was holding at gun point that I was out of bullets. They didn't trust me, Tobias did, or did he? I told them everything, carefully choosing my words and managing to hold back any strong emotion. When I was finished, the air felt heavier than usual, but then again, it could have just been my impression. I was silent for a moment, waiting for them to let it sink in.

"Your jerking us around, right?" - Marco asked, smiling

"Is this a joke?" - Jake was serious, he turned from me to Ax - "What do you think?"

"I have never heard of anything like this before, Prince Jake. But then again, not many humans have been given the morphing technology, as for half-breeds..."

"Is it possible?" - he asked, even more serious

"Look who's asking! We're here talking to an alien and a hawk; no offense you guys..."

None taken 

"...and we change into animals to fight an army of slugs that crawl inside people's brains, anybody else wanna question what's possible or impossible?" - Marco finished, waving his hand in the air, I almost laughed

"He has a point, you know"

"I'm not joking" - I said looking Jake straight in the eyes

She's telling the truth, I saw it - Tobias added

Jake looked at me, analyzing whether or not to believe me, his analysis was cut short by Rachel, who had already reached a conclusion,

"If she's telling the truth, and that's 'if', we'll only need one person to guard her at a time. We can tie her up until tomorrow morning, all we have to do is keep her hands away from any insect. I looked at her, ready to protest; and why was she referring to me in the third person? That can be really annoying especially when the person is looking right at you. Anyway, I was about to object, when Cassie beat me to it,

"I don't think that's necessary, I mean, she has been quite cooperative"

Besides, if she were going to try and escape, she would have done it by now 

God, that made me feel so guilty for leaving the night before, but not bad enough that I'd tell them about it, but pretty bad. And as for Tobias covering up the fact that I had left without saying anything... I just knew I could trust him. Jake was still silent, only nodding, I knew that they seemed like the type of group who usually took votes and stuff like that, but the final word would be his, that's the advantage (or burden) of being the leader. I saw Ax begin to demorph to my left, two hours must be almost up. Jake still wasn't sure, so Rachel 'helped' him along

"I think it would be a smart precaution, and besides, it would only be until tomorrow night. We'll be able to keep her quiet, that's if she's telling us the truth" - She gave me a side-ways look and added - "Nothing personal"

"Of course" - I let out through clinched teeth

I wasn't going to let them tie me down, I didn't let them do it before, and I wasn't about to let them do it to me now. Everyone has something they're not comfortable with, dare I say afraid; to some it's darkness, to others small spaces... to me, it's being helpless, I can't stand it, I'm terrified of going through that again. Imagine what it feels like to not even control your own body, your own actions, and you'll only begin to understand what I went through as a controller. What every person goes through as a controller. No, I wasn't going to be helpless again, but they had me outnumbered, not counting the morphs they probably had, more than likely to be big enough to pin me down like I was a rag doll. If only I had a morph... I took a step sideways and my foot sortta turned over and I fell right into the andalite. He was stunned for a moment as I acquired him, I straightened my foot as if nothing happened, and backed away from the andalite very, very quickly. He didn't seem at all happy, I sort of got that impression when a tail blade was put up against my throat

You acquired me!! 

"I'm sorry"

I said it like I really meant it, I actually did. I didn't like to have just acquired the protagonist species in my nightmares, but there was no way in hell they were going to tie me or lock me up somewhere. Thank god they didn't think of the second option. The others weren't at all pleased that I had just gotten something to morph, which obviously meant they couldn't tie me to a chair anymore, but I couldn't exactly smile at it, afraid that the blade would cut through my skin

"Ax, let her go" - Jake said

The andalite removed his tail as fast as it had been placed, as a reminder that he could easily slit my throat at a moments notice. But I knew that, I knew it so well... I pushed the memories back where they belonged, hidden, and concentrated on Jake's fixated stare on me. He spoke, his voice not suggesting, not implying, but stating. It was obvious he was their leader, whether he knew it or not

"Fine, you got your wish, no ropes, no chairs... but, to avoid any unexpected trouble, we'll all stay here together..." - he shot a glance at Ax who was morphing human in the corner (away from me, I might add) 

"Think we could get a career as babysitters after this?" - Marco, who else. Jake ignored him

"...do everything you have to do at home, then come back, tell your parents you'll be out all day. Make up some excuse, biology paper on plants or wildlife or something. I'll stay here while you guys go. Anybody got a problem?"

They all shook their heads and left to do what Jake had instructed them to. Ax and Tobias went out to get themselves some breakfast. Rachel, Marco and Cassie went home to tell their parents that they would be collecting specimen for a biology project and they'd probably stay out all day. Cassie was the first to come back, the wolf laid down the small backpack before starting to demorph. When she was finished she opened the backpack and took out a bottle of water and handed it to me, I think I spent the next minute or so thanking her. If it hadn't been for her, I'd starved by now; I wasn't exactly willing to accept the mouse Tobias had brought with him when he came back from hunting. I couldn't even bear to watch him eat it, if I were only watching a mouse be eaten by a hawk, it would be fine; but Tobias wasn't a hawk. Not really. I asked him not to eat near me, at least until I didn't get sick from the thought anymore. He agreed.

Marco was next to show up, and guess what, he really did bring a deck of cards! He and Jake played cards while Cassie and I watched. Around noon, Rachel showed up and after round one between her and Marco, the three of them continued with their game. It wasn't until the sun was already setting that Tobias and Ax came flying in. Ax demorphed and morphed his human morph, the others spent the rest of the time trying to teach him to play cards, while Tobias gave a remark or two from Rachel's arm, where he was carefully resting. I sat on the floor, my back against the wall and closed my eyes. I just listened to their laughter, they were having such fun. I knew I was smiling on the inside, I just wasn't sure if it showed on the outside. I remembered playing in the snow where we used to live before; before all of this started to happen. We were so happy... sure we had problems, my mom's accident, dad getting stuck in morph, but I was still a child when all of it happened, so I didn't affect me very much. I don't even remember it very well. Lots of blanks and missing pieces, Sarah used to tell me whatever she remembered, dad didn't talk much about it. Anyway, I got the happy part of our family life, until the yeerks came... I pushed that thought away, concentrating on the good memories I had of my life.

I listened around, my eyes still closed. I heard the faint noise of rain falling outside, the laughter had died down, there were only murmurs and whispers. I opened my eyes and looked at them. The lamp was lit, I could clearly see Jake and Cassie talking to each other, Jake was sitting on one of the boxes, far enough not to get wet. Cassie was saying something to him and he was smiling, they sure made a cute couple. I smiled at the thought, my gaze shifted to the others. Marco was attempting, and failing, to explain to Ax how to play solitaire, Ax was in his human morph. Rachel was sitting much like I was, facing the hawk perched on a shelf to my right. He must have been talking to her in private, because once in a while she smiled or nodded.

"Hey, Cleopatra is awake"

"I wasn't sleeping, Marco"

He laughed and looked at his watch - "Isn't this rain going to stop, I've gotta get home"

As if the heavens themselves had heard him, the rain stopped. I smiled faintly and clapped with mock enthusiasm

"What's your next trick?" - I asked, already feeling the answer

"I'm going to turn myself into an owl and go home" - he said as he started to morph - "Anyone going...now? 

"Bye you three, we'll come back tomorrow after school"

They all morphed owl and flew away, Marco complaining that he still had homework to do.

I backed into the wall again and closed my eyes, I wasn't exactly tired, I was bored. I didn't want to move, afraid that any motion would make it so I would lose all will to sleep. I listened to the noise of the woods and suddenly I heard a soft thump on the roof. I opened my eyes, Tobias and Ax were there, so I wondered about who might be outside. The noise appeared to be moving towards the hole in the roof, I sat up and tried to focus on the sound. What was it? Tobias... I began to say, suddenly a figure jumped onto the boxes and startled me. I jumped to my feet, then I heard Tobias and even Ax laughing. I looked at the animal and recognized it to be the cat I had encountered here the first day. I went over to her and picked her up, she was covered with raindrops. I gave Tobias a dirty look and he tried to stop laughing. I sat down on the blanket with the cat in my lap.

Don't worry, I won't tell the others you were afraid of a little cat - he teased

I gave him a menacing look as I laid down still stroking the cats fur and opened her claws so he could see them

"Be careful what you say, or I'll ask her to keep you company up there"

He was silent, and I smiled. I fell asleep hearing the soft purring of the feline next to me. She had preferred the blanket instead of the boxes. I dreamed of Sarah, but not the panther, not the fighter; the real Sarah, the human being, my sister. I dreamed we were all on a picnic and we were gathered around the basket and mom was handing us over some sandwiches. Sarah ate them like it was the best thing ever, but when I took a bite out of mine, it tasted terrible, I opened it up and it had red all over it, blood. I threw it away and Sarah looked at me startled. 'Why'd you do that? You have to embrace the killing, embrace the death...' I guess at some level I knew that it was just a dream. I saw a controller running through the park and I went after him. I didn't seem to be running, I seemed to be flying. When I caught up with the controller I saw that it was my father. He had the knife in his hands... Sarah was holding me down... The knife was at my throat... I could feel the cold blade on my skin... The andalite blade cut my throat and I woke up, desperately pushing away something that was on my throat. 

I looked around, rubbing my neck, it had just been a strand of hay. I stared into the andalite eyes of my observer as he began to morph. We were alone, and it was almost noon. I always had the habit of over sleeping when I had nightmares, ironic isn't it? Ax was fully human now, and he sat on one of the boxes. I looked around for the cat, she was gone, he must have followed my gaze, because his words were

"The ph feline is gone ne. Were you having ing a nightmare?"

It was still freaky to hear him talk like that. I nodded anyway. True, I wasn't comfortable around him, but it wasn't personal, I didn't even know this andalite. He was looking at me in a funny way, I guess he was still angry, or cautious after the little stunt I pulled the day before. Maybe I shouldn't have acquired him, but it wasn't like I was going to keep it forever anyway. I realized that Tobias wasn't there, but I was uncomfortable about asking the andalite anything at all. He still looked mad, I tried to patch it up as best I could, without having to get all friendly with him 

"I'm sorry. I had no right to acquire you. Don't worry, I've probably lost it by now "

I guess I'll never know what his reaction would have been, because at that exact moment, Tobias flew in with his 'breakfast' or lunch. I made a face and held back a 'gross', I'd been meaning to say

"Why don't you eat like normal humans do?"

He ignored me, and I wisely shut up, thinking that maybe I had hit a nerve. He spoke to Ax

I'll take it from here, Ax. There are a lot where these came from, if you'd care to join me

Ax made the same disgusting look I had and shook his head. He shot me a glance and left, saying he'd be back later. I looked at Tobias, who had almost finished his meal

"So... I thought everyone had agreed to watch me in groups. Aren't you afraid I might escape"

Not really 

"Then can I go outside?"

Not really 

"You do know that's extremely annoying, don't you?" 

Not really 

"What did I do to deserve this?" - I said in mock desperation

Where should I start? There was... 

"Excuse me, but I believe that was what is called a retorical question. You do know what that means, don't you?"

Actually, not...

"If you say 'not really' one more time, I'll make you regret it, bird-boy" - I said, remembering what Marco had called him

Where did that come from, your highness? You were paying attention after all, weren't you? 

"Not really" - I said, mocking him

We laughed a bit, but I wasn't still totally at ease with talking to a bird, fine, a hawk, but a bird, nevertheless.

"Could you morph human for a while?"

Why? 

"No special reason, I'd just rather talk to a boy than a hawk"

He started morphing and I noticed how slowly he did it. How slow they all did it. It took them about 30 seconds to morph and demorph. They were even slower than Sarah, but maybe that was because she had had more practice. I looked at the boy standing in front of me, he ran his fingers through his hair and smiled

"What now?" - he said

"We do the same thing we would have done before. We can just talk until the others show up" 

He sat on one of the boxes and I sat down next to him, my legs crossed on top of the wood so I could face him. I looked at my wristwatch, the glass had shattered and would fall out at any time, but it was still working. Tobias would have until two o'clock as a human. I can usually keep track of time rather well, but only when I'm in the morph. And even then, I start getting edgy when I still have half an hour left. Guess I was always afraid of getting trapped in morph, seeing what it did to my father and how angry Sarah had become with him. Not angry; 'rip you apart' angry, but 'wish you hadn't done it' angry. 

Anyway, Tobias and I talked about all sorts of stupid stuff for about twenty minutes, then we went on to play this game where you 'choose' randomly a letter from the alphabet, than proceed to name an animal that starts with that letter. We ran into some trouble when we reached the x, but otherwise, it went great. When he still had forty minutes left, I started to look down at my watch every two and a half minutes. He noticed I wasn't exactly paying attention to what he was saying

"So that's when the dog climbed over the rainbow and ate all the seaweed..."

It took me a while to realize he had been saying nothing but nonsense for quite some time now, and staring at me with a worried look on his 'all too capable of expressing emotion' human face

"What the hell are you talking about?" - I said, punching him real softly on the shoulder. He just laughed

"Finally she snaps out of it! I was running out of stupid things to say. What's worrying you? Memories?"

"No, I'm just a bit paranoid about the two hour limit"

"From the way you say it, you sound like you were stuck in morph"

I looked at my watch again and Tobias smiled. He demorphed and morphed back and I was genuinely relieved. About an hour later, Cassie and Rachel came by. They were talking about Britney Spears (author's note: can't spell her name right), who I swear I have no idea is. I pretty much sat back on the floor and heard them talk. Jake and Marco came later, Marco complaining he had a biology paper to write. I saw Rachel turn to him "You can write?!?" and they all laughed while Marco just basically gave her a 'not funny' look. But it was.

***

Jake

We talked about your regular teenage stuff for a while. Alyssa just sat in the corner, her eyes closed. At one point Marco went up to her and poked her shoulder 

"Is she awake?"

He pretty much got his answer when she grabbed his finger and pulled him to the floor. Ax helped him up while we all just laughed. She just smiled and closed her eyes again. Cassie came near and pulled me to a corner away from Alyssa

"Jake, it's almost three days now and she doesn't seem to be a controller..." - I was going to say something, but she didn't let me - "I know we had to be sure and all, but I really don't believe she is a controller. I never did. What do we do with her after tonight? Where does she go? Does she stay here? We have to figure something out, she knows who we are and what we can do. We can't just send her on her way and be done with it"

I nodded, Cassie had a point. I had thought about it over and over again, and I always came up with the same answer

"We could invite her to join us"

Cassie looked at me and nodded solemnly. I whispered to her: "We'll set up a meeting at your barn, tomorrow after school"

I looked at Alyssa one more time and hoped we were doing the right thing. I soon joined Marco at teasing the girl's music tastes and that went on until Ax interrupted us in his human form

"Prince Jake?"

I was going to remind him not to call me prince, but instead I just sighed. It wasn't like I wouldn't get a chance later on

"What is it Ax? What's wrong?"

"I think I should tell you that the human's 72 hours period has expired four minutes ago, and there is no sign of a yeerk"

"Guess we should tell her she doesn't have to be watched over anymore"

"Hum... guys... now I think she's sleeping for real" - Marco said, staying at a safe distance

I went over and heard her breathing, it was relaxed and spaced - "Alyssa?" - I asked. Not that I was actually expecting an answer. She seemed pretty deep in sleep. I heard Rachel make some crack about how to wake her up, but Tobias quickly suggested that we just lay her down on the blanket and he and Ax would tell her in the morning. I carefully carried her over to the blanket, no way I was letting Marco get a chance to drop her, and Cassie covered her up with another one. We all had to go home anyway, it was starting to get late. We set up a meeting at Cassie's barn for the next day after school and told Ax and Tobias to make sure Alyssa was busy with something else. They agreed and we all started to sprout feathers and go home.

***

Tobias

Since it is no longer needed that I stay...

Ok Ax, you can leave, I'll stay here in case she wakes up 

Very well. Good night Tobias 

Bye Ax, see you tomorrow 

Ax morphed owl and flew away. I looked at Alyssa, her face seemed to be peaceful for a moment then it twitched and I knew she was having a nightmare. I thought it best to wake her up. It's funny how you can never seem to wake up from your nightmares and you always get disturbed from a nice dream. I morphed human and shook her gently to wake her up. I noticed her skin was cold, but there were a few drops of sweat on her forehead. She rose abruptly, and grabbed my hand with a tight grip in pure reflex, but mostly unaware she'd done it. I didn't offer any resistance. I saw the expression on her face soften as the nightmare began to vanish. She looked around, confusion replacing sleep

"Where are the others?"

"They left a few minutes ago. You fell asleep"

She gave me a dirty look for pointing out the obvious. Only then the last of the sleepiness went away and she gave me a funny look

"How did I end up over here? I'm sure that I was sitting over there, not lying down when I dozed off"

"Jake... sortta carried you here..." - at this point she realized she was holding my hand and squeezing it rather hard, she quickly let it go - "Marco was willing to help but... we were afraid he'd drop you"

She laughed and started to stand up - "He probably would have too"

She looked at her watch and drank some water that was still left in the bottle Cassie had brought over that morning. I knew what she was thinking

"The yeerk came out of your brain twenty minutes ago"- I swear she almost choked

"What?!?"

"Just joking... Anyway, now you don't need a babysitter anymore. Just stay away from the controllers... but you already know that"

I saw her turn to me and open up the prettiest smile ever. She was really beautiful, not only on the inside, but on the outside. For a moment I think I lost myself in those green eyes. I think I must have stared at her, 'cause she looked behind her herself than at herself and back at me, smiling a bit

"What, what's wrong?" - I think I blushed a bit from my own thoughts

I tried to make something up - "I was just wondering... could you morph me?"

"Right now?" - she asked, I nodded. She was still smiling - "Let me see what I can morph"

She focused and her face relaxed a bit. Suddenly, she started melting. She was morphing, but the way she was doing it, it seemed more like melting. I couldn't even focus on the changes and she was already done. It didn't take her more than 10 or 12 seconds. The cat leaped softly on the boxes and meowed. Then she slowly demorphed, taking her time, allowing me to see the changes and still finishing in what would have only put us half-way through the transformation. I was obviously staring. 

***

Alyssa 

He was staring at me. I knew why, it wasn't the morphing itself, I think. It was more the speed I did it in. Even Sarah was amazed once in a while at how fast I went... Why did I have to think about her again? Everything was going so well. I concentrated on the andalite, I didn't want to, but I wanted to take my mind off my memories. I started to morph and closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at the changes. I knew I was finished, so I demorphed and only then opened my eyes again. I wasn't happy anymore, every time I thought about Sarah, I became sad. The reason was obvious. I wanted to shout and run and cry and escape, but I wasn't going to do any of it, I was just going to morph. I focused on the hawk, and I began to morph, but I couldn't go all the way, something was wrong. I was tired, but that wasn't it. I returned to my all-human form

"It's useless"

I screamed at Tobias, not really intending to have an outburst and take it out on one of the few people who had been nice to me. One of the few people I liked. I put my hands on my head and ruffled my hair letting out a sound of defeat. I looked into his eyes, but turned away before my expression gave away something I didn't want it to. 

"It's no use, I can't do it!" - I lashed out in utter defeat

He came closer and put an encouraging hand on my shoulder, his voice was so calm. I didn't pull away as I would have done if it had been any other person.

"Maybe you're trying too hard. Maybe you're nervous about something. Just let it flow like you did before, try and do it slowly, no hurries"

I sighed and concentrated on the hawk, not on the wings and the features, but on the freedom, the feeling of soaring high above... I opened my eyes shortly after to find I was indeed a hawk. I demorphed right away and smiled at Tobias

"You should be my coach, how much do you charge by the hour?" - I said joking

"Actually, I charge by the morph" - he began to say

Suddenly I felt weak, everything started to darken, his voice became just another sound that began to fade away into silence. I looked at Tobias, I felt my legs start to bend, they collapsed from under me. I found myself falling towards the ground, but Tobias held me up and slowly sat me down on the floor. I think I scared the hell out of him, but this had happened before, so I wasn't worried. I closed my eyes a bit, and breathed slow deep breaths. God, did I regret not having eaten that mouse! I was finally able to concentrate on Tobias's voice. It was as if he had guessed my thoughts

"You should have eaten something this afternoon, before doing this. I think you're weak" - he sounded worried

"I'm fine"

I said while opening my eyes and forcing a smile. I was sitting on the ground and he was kneeled down in front of me, speaking softly, trying to make sure I was listening

"Are you sure you're ok?" - he asked worried

"Yeah, I'm better now"

"Can you stand up?"

I nodded and he placed his arm around my waist. The feel of his hand made me shudder momentarily. His face was so close to mine, I could hear his soft breathing. My heart was racing. All of a sudden I leaned over and gave him a kiss, I was half expecting him to pull away and demand an explanation, but to my surprise, he kissed me back. I closed my eyes and felt a sortta nice sinking feeling in my stomach. I had somehow arrived at the conclusion that I liked him. Why else would I be kissing him? I stopped thinking and just wished that moment would last forever. Suddenly I think he realized what we were doing and was surprised, because he pulled away quickly and just avoided looking me in the eye. That's when I looked over his shoulder and saw someone standing there... 

***

Tobias

I saw her weaken for a moment, she looked as though she were about to faint. I held her and sat her gently on the ground. She had her eyes closed and was breathing slowly. I asked if she was ok, but I didn't get an answer, I don't think she even heard me.

"You should have eaten something before doing this, you're weak" - I said

She said she was fine and opened her eyes smiling. After I asked her again if she was okay, she nodded. I put my arm around her waist to try and help her up. Suddenly I realized she wasn't trying to stand anymore, she was just looking at me with those beautiful green eyes, making me almost drown in them. Our faces were so close, our lips were even closer. Before I even noticed it, she was kissing me. But the thing that really surprised me was that I was kissing her back and liking it too. But I couldn't be enjoying it, could I? My mind was such a jumble. I was kissing her, then it kindda hit me. I was kissing her, I was a hawk for heavens sake, I'd have to demorph any minute now. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was I doing? How will she feel when she sees the guy she just kissed turn into a bird? I pulled away rather abruptly and avoided looking her in the eye. I liked her, something inside knew that, but how can it be possible to feel like this towards someone you hardly know? I thought I liked someone else. But that hadn't worked out the way I had pictured it. And now this... I was beginning to realize I liked Alyssa, I really did...

I was about to help her up when I heard Alyssa's voice

"Hum... hi"

I thought to myself let it be anyone but Marco, I'd never hear the end of this. I snapped my head around looking over my shoulder and saw Rachel. I couldn't make out the expression on her face, maybe it was the dim light, maybe it was because my head was still spinning, but I didn't think I had ever seen that look before. She stared at us for a moment then sort of ran off. That was not like her at all. I got up and followed. I didn't even answer Alyssa when she asked where we were going. I changed my mind, I'd rather it had been Marco, anyone at all, but no, it had to have been Rachel. I stopped for a moment and demorphed, then I morphed owl. I found her easily, she hadn't even bothered to morph, she was just sort of running through a clearing. I flew after her. When she finally stopped to rest, I landed on a branch next to her

Rachel! What's wrong? Why'd you run off like that?

"I can't believe you! You honestly haven't got a clue?" - she snapped

I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I just remained perfectly silent and perfectly still, I didn't want to be misinterpreted in any way. I still couldn't understand the look on her face. She appeared to have calmed down a bit

"Look Tobias, I'm sorry. I have no right to be angry at you for any reason"

You're angry at me? 

"Not really, but don't you think you should get to know her before making a move on her? And I guess that tells you something about her too. I was waiting for her to try and sink her claws into one of you, I thought it would be Jake, but I'm not very good at guessing, right?"

I was really getting mad at her, I didn't think I could, but that last part did it. It was totally unfair, and totally uncalled for. Rachel had no right to say that, no right at all. Why was she saying all those things? She was trying her best to seem calm, but the expression on her face showed she wanted nothing else than give me a good strong punch. I could take her being mad at me, but I didn't want her to be mean to Alyssa 

I like her, Rachel. She's a nice person 

The words meant exactly what they were supposed to. They just seamed to come out as a plea, all I was asking was for her to try and be nice to Alyssa. She looked at me for a second and started to morph an owl so she could get home faster

Rachel. Are you going to just stop talking to me? That is so childish!

She was still half human, half owl, when leaves crunched behind us. My heart stopped, for a moment I thought we were doomed, but it was only Alyssa. She pushed away some bushes and smiled at us, Rachel just stared at her and finished morphing

"There you guys are. You got me worried running off like that and not saying anything. Are you ok Rachel?"

Fine - Rachel answered as briefly as she could. Alyssa noticed something wasn't right

"If you guys are still talking or something, I could just find my way to the shack..."

No, I've gotta go anyway. He's all yours 

And with that, Rachel took off. Alyssa turned to face me

"You wanna go after her? I can get back by myself..."

No, I'll talk with her tomorrow

"Mind if I morph you? We'll go faster "

She concentrated and morphed. We flew most of the way in complete silence, it was less than five minutes. As soon as we entered the shack, she began to demorph

So...is she your girlfriend or something like that? - she asked me after a while - Cause if she is... and she saw... I could talk with her and explain

I laughed on the inside, she was cute when she looked embarrassed - No, you don't owe her any type of explanation... - I said, remembering Rachel's remark - And no, she's not my girlfriend 

(AN - These two previous '***' were suggested by Gwen and Erin, who helped along. Hey, I can't take full credit for it, now can I?) 

***

Rachel

That little... I searched my mind for the right word, but bitch was the best I could do. I was so mad. But at who? At myself? At Tobias? At Alyssa? I guess deep down I knew that he would find someone else who'd like him, I just never thought it would have been so fast, she was only there for three days, and especially while he was still a hawk. Was I jealous or angry? I wasn't sure... I hadn't felt like this before. I was a mixture of emotions, but they all ended up telling me the same thing, I didn't like Alyssa. I didn't trust her. It was only the third day we knew her and she was already drooling over Tobias. Sure, I can definitely see why, but I never expected him to be fooled by her nice act. Has everyone forgotten how easily she mislead us several times in only three days? How she was so calculating on that night when we first met her? How she easily studied our reactions. Had they all just forgotten it? Tobias had been the first to trust her, then Cassie, then Jake, and Marco was no better, but Ax could see through her, I knew he could. I didn't trust her, she was a good gambler, and a good liar, she played us well that first night, and kept on doing it. Tobias actually believed her, he trusted her. By the time I got to my house, I felt like my head was about to explode. I needed to talk to someone. Cassie, that's it, I'd talk to Cassie. I picked up the phone and dialed Cassie's number. A tired voice came on the other side

"Hello"

"Cassie, it's me Rachel, can you talk right now?"

"Sure, you sound different, is something wrong?"

"No... it's just... Cas, what do you think about Alyssa?"

"I think she's nice, and she needs our help. Why?"

"So you believe all that stuff she told us?"

"Well, it is sort of weird, but why not? Why should she lie to us?"

"Don't know..."

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing really..."

"What happened when you went back for your bag?"

I wanted so much to just tell her that I had seen Tobias and Alyssa. But the words just didn't want to cooperate

"I just saw them... talking, Tobias had on that black jacket" - my subtle way of saying he was in human morph - "...and she was throwing herself at him, literally. And he seemed to be enjoying it"

"Oh! And you're feeling..." - she left it hanging, but I knew what she meant

"No, I'm not... I don't know... maybe I am"

"That's perfectly natural. But there's something else you're not telling me. What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling really good right now. Talk to you tomorrow at school. Bye"

I hung up before she got a chance to say anything else. I decided I didn't want to talk about it, I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. I was feeling jealous. I knew that if I had let Cassie say something else, she would have tried and reassured me that Tobias was crazy about me or something like that and that I was reading too much into it. I couldn't bring myself to hear it, especially since it obviously wasn't true. I had always let his being a hawk keep me from showing him how I truly felt. But how did I truly feel? I cared about him, I knew that... Why was I analyzing my feelings like this? I was angry, but not at Tobias, at Alyssa. Who does she think she is, coming here and messing up our lives? I wasn't going to try really hard to be nice to her in the first place, now, I'm just going to stay at the edge of civilized conversation, nothing more, nothing less. But if she gets on my nerve, I can't be held responsible for the consequences. Tobias would hate me for it, he really seems to like her, but he's so trusting, so naive sometimes, he can't see past her helpless victim act. It's all just an act, I've seen the look in her eyes and the expression on her face and I know she's not at all who she appears to be. I shoved those unpleasant thoughts away to the back of my mind as I lay my head on my pillow and closed my eyes. 

***

Alyssa

I heard the phone ring and ran to answer it, I knew it would be daddy. I ran but I tripped over the carpet and fell. Sarah got there first and answered the phone. I looked at my knee, it looked like it was going to bleed. I cradled it and began to cry. Then Sarah was next to me, laughing "Just morph it, silly". I looked up at her and shouted "I don't have anything to morph!" She sat next to me, she was suddenly older, her face was serious "Sure you do, Liss, you just don't know it..." She gave me an enigmatic smile and I saw I was no longer on the floor, I was sitting at the dining room table across from my father. He looked at me and smiled "I'm sorry Liss, can you forgive me?". I didn't know what he was talking about, I tried to think up an answer, but I couldn't say anything. They were all looking at me, waiting for something. "Alyssa?"

"Alyssa?"

I opened my eyes and the light blinded me for a moment. I looked up at a girl's face. I hated it when people watched me sleep, or even when they woke me up from one of the calmest dream I had had in a long time. I looked at Cassie, she was smiling at me. I sat up and did my best to smile back

"Good morning Cassie. Or should I say, good afternoon. What brings you here?"- I managed to sound cheerful

"My parents are going to be out all day, so I thought we could look through my stuff and see if we can find some clothes for you to wear until we get a better idea"

"Sure, that sounds great"

"Can you go now?"

"Sure" - I yawned - "I'll just morph hawk"

She nodded and started to morph. Feathers and a beak emerged. When she was finished I morphed. We got to her house in no time, that's the good thing about morphing birds, you don't even notice how far you've gone, cause it feels so good to just spread your wings and feel the wind... I wondered if Tobias liked flying better than walking. I remembered that kiss we shared. Then Rachel came and we didn't say anything about it, we didn't even talk much that night. I tried to get him out of my mind and the best thing I could come up with was: 

"So, Cassie, what's up with you and Jake? You guys make a cute couple" - I saw her cheeks become very, very red

"Jake and me? We're just friends, that's all"

"No way. I saw the way he looked at you, there's something in that look"

I saw her face light up with a smile, but she turned around, looking at the clothes laid out on her bed and tried to change the subject. She handed me a T-shirt and a pair of jeans

"Here, I think these can fit. The bathroom's over there, there's a towel and stuff if you want to take a bath" 

"Are you kidding me? I can finally see a shower again. I'll try and see if I can recognize it. Been around rivers too much these days"

"I'll be in the barn, you saw it, right? Take your time and when you're finished you can meet me there"

I nodded and she left. I think I took the longest bath in the history of mankind. It was so good, felling the water fall on my face... I got dressed with the clothes Cassie gave me, they weren't a perfect fit, but they were better than nothing. I got out of the house and looked for the barn, not like it was hard to spot. I felt like I should knock or something, but I just went in. The others were all there. I stopped by the door, but Marco motioned for me to come in. Jake stood up and walked over to me

"Now that we're all here... Alyssa would you like to join us?"

***

Rachel

"Now that we're all here... Alyssa, would you like to join us?" - Jake asked her

She looked unsure, or confused

"Hey, Cleo. The man just asked you if you'd like to become an animorph. That's like yes or no"

"Animorph?" - she asked, looking at Marco. He smiled

"Yeah, animorphs. What? Don't like it?"

She smiled slightly and looked at each one of us, almost trying to make sure we all agreed. She looked at Tobias the longest, she was talking to him in private. Then she turned her gaze towards Ax and her smile dimmed a bit

"What about you andalite? Would you be willing to trust me with your life?"

Ax was in his natural form. He hesitated, then came close to where Alyssa was standing and held out his hand

Would you entrust me with yours?

There was no need for an answer, Alyssa shook his hand and smiled. She turned to us

"What do I have to lose? Everything I cared about is gone, I lost my home, my family, my freedom... All I have left is my life. It's not worth much, but whatever it's worth, it's yours"

'Oh, cry me a river', I thought to myself. I made up some excuse about babysitting my little sister and left. As I was leaving, I took one last look at Alyssa, who was cheerfully talking to Cassie and Ax. I remembered the meeting we'd had while Alyssa was still in Cassie's house...

Jake was standing in front of us

"I think we should ask her to join us"

"I think that I should point out that I'd normally disagree when it comes to risking ourselves..." - we all nodded - "...but in this case, I don't see any other option"

"This has got to be a good idea, even Marco agrees" - there were some laughs. Jake asked again

"So, what do you guys think? Votes?"

"I say we do it"

We could use the help, and so could she

"Yeah, we can't just pretend we never met her"

"Ax? Rachel? Your votes?"

I'm not sure Prince Jake... But maybe she could be of some assistance to us

"Rachel?"

"I don't know... I'm not sure I trust her. But since you guys wanna risk it, fine... Just don't say I didn't warn you"

The memory vanished back into the hidden places of my mind, but it's essence still remained, the feeling that I didn't trust Alyssa, I didn't trust her at all...

****

To be continued in Crossing Paths #2 

__

So... did you like it? About that whole 'thought-speaking in natural form' deal, let me explain... It's just that ever since I heard 'em say that you couldn't do it, I've been thinking 'why not?'. I can't think of a physical explanation; to me, it would be just a matter of practice, like increasing speed and control of a morph. So what I'm saying is that in the future, the animorphs would do it for sure. Now, if you want to write me an e-mail explaining why they can't and never will thought-speak in their natural forms, fine. I welcome the reading, but be sure to specify if you want me to change anything or if you're just trying to enlighten me on the subject.

Yeah, I know, you're getting tired of me, that's why I put this in the end of the story. I'd just like to ask you that before you go and give me bad reviews, that you take some time to write me an e-mail telling me what you hated and what you liked about my fic and any suggestions for part 2. What you thought was left hanging, what needs explaining, and most of all, what you got bored with... 


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